Transgender Teen's Suicide Note: ‘My death needs to mean something’

The suicide of a transgender teen is catching national attention in part because of a suicide note she left behind online.

Leelah Alcorn, 17, of Kings Mills, Ohio, was struck and killed by a tractor-trailer on I-71 about 2:30 a.m. on Sunday, according to local media

Posthumous posts started to appear on her Tumblr page, titled “Lazer Princess,” including her suicide note  and a post apologizing to her closest friends

“My death needs to mean something,” she wrote. “My death needs to be counted in the number of transgender people who commit suicide this year. I want someone to look at that number and say ‘that’s f---ed up’ and fix it. Fix society. Please.”

Alcorn's note explains that she has felt like a girl trapped in a boy’s body ever since she was 4. Then she cried tears of joy when she learned what transgender meant at 14.

“After 10 years of confusion I finally understood who I was,” the suicide note reads. “I immediately told my mom, and she reacted extremely negatively, telling me that it was a phase, that I would never truly be a girl, that God doesn’t make mistakes, that I am wrong.”

 

After her death, Alcorn’s mother was harshly criticized for referring to her child by her given name — “Joshua Ryan Alcorn” — and using male pronouns.

"My sweet 16 year old son, Joshua Ryan Alcorn went home to heaven this morning. He was out for an early morning walk and was hit by a truck,” the mother wrote.

Alcorn requested that all of her belongings and savings be donated to transgender civil rights movements and support groups.

Many people took to Twitter to mourn her death using #LeelahAlcorn and criticize the continued injustice facing transgender people today.

NC Teen’s Suicide Sparks Questions of Possible Bullying

A North Carolina teenager who took her own life last Saturday was laid to rest on the day after Christmas.

  

WLOS-TV reported that 16-year-old Amber Cornwell’s death has sparked a discussion about bullying in the mountains in Henderson County.
Cornwell’s final Facebook post just before her suicide asked if she died that night, “Would anyone cry?”
Friends and family said they’ll remember Cornwell as a talented girl with a great sense of humor. She was an honor roll student, a tennis player, a dancer and a member of the All County Chorus.
“I’ve been crying for days now,” said long-time friend Sierra Crochet, who’s known her since first grade.
Family and friends said bullying is what drove Amber to take her own life. They hope the discussion about bullying leads to action. They said they wished they knew she was on the brink of suicide.
“They were just calling her names and said she had no future and had nothing going for her,” Crochet told WLOS-TV, referring to the alleged bullies.
A candlelight vigil is planned in her honor at East Henderson High School on Saturday evening.
“She had that sense of humor that could a smile on your face,” said friend Stephanie Hernandez.

Black teen hung from swing set: Suicide or lynching?

I am shocked at this story. This is the 21st century not the 1960's

Bladenboro, N.C. — The black teenager was found in a North Carolina trailer park, hanging from a swing set by a dog leash and a belt that were not his own. His mother said he showed no sign of suicidal thoughts, yet authorities quickly ruled that he had taken his own life.
Now the FBI is reviewing the investigation after Lennon Lacy's relatives and the NAACP raised doubts about the official findings, which the county coroner also questions.
A 911 caller reported spotting the 17-year-old's body Aug. 29 in the small town of Bladenboro, about 100 miles south of Raleigh. His feet were suspended 2 inches off the ground.

The state medical examiner ruled that the boy killed himself, but his mother said she does not believe it.

When I saw him, I just knew automatically he didn't do that to himself," Claudia Lacy told The Associated Press in a recent interview. "If he was going to harm himself, his demeanor would have changed. His whole routine, everything, his attitude, everything would have changed."

She last saw the youngest of her four sons alive as the middle linebacker prepared for a high school football game by putting together his uniform in the early hours of the day he died.
His father told him that he needed to get some sleep before the game, his first after his mother made him take a year off from the team to focus on his grades.
"OK, Daddy," he said. They then heard a door close, which was not unusual, Claudia Lacy said, because her son liked to run at night when the air was cool.
About 13 hours later, she identified his body in the back of an ambulance. The swing set was in clear sight of about 10 trailers.
She said she felt let down when investigators ruled it a suicide and brought her concerns to the state chapter of the NAACP, which has organized a march Saturday in Bladenboro.
The march will begin Saturday morning at the First Baptist Church in Bladenboro. The NAACP is reminding participants that the march is supposed to be non-violent.
On Friday, federal officials confirmed they were reviewing the investigation. A spokesman for U.S. Attorney Tom Walker said Walker's office acted at the request of attorneys from the North Carolina NAACP representing the family.
"We don't know what happened that terrible night," said the Rev. William Barber, president of the state NAACP chapter. "It is possible that a 17-year-old excited about life could commit suicide. The family is prepared to accept the truth. They're not prepared to accept this theory that's been posited with a rush to a conclusion of suicide so quickly. We have said there are far too many unanswered questions."
Bladen County District Attorney Jon David said Friday that he also asked the FBI to review the case because the family and the NAACP said they had information that they would provide only to federal authorities. He said he had seen no evidence of foul play.

Not only is the case open, but our minds are open," David said.
In the 911 call, the dispatcher advises the caller to try to get the person down in case he was still alive. When investigators arrived at the trailer park that the NAACP has described as predominantly white, the body was on the ground. Investigators told NAACP attorneys that one shoe was on the body and one was on the ground, said Al McSurely, a lawyer working for the NAACP.
The shoes were 1.5 sizes too small for Lacy and did not belong to him, his family said.
The family also questioned whether authorities took photos at the scene, and if they did, whether those photos were provided to the state medical examiner.
David said Friday that many photos were taken, but the NAACP attorneys said they were not aware of any.
Bladenboro Police Chief Chris Hunt referred all questions to the State Bureau of Investigation, North Carolina's top law enforcement agency. A spokeswoman for the bureau has said agents addressed all viable leads.
Bladen County Coroner Hubert Kinlaw said he signed a death certificate calling the cause of death a suicide because that's how the form came back from the medical examiner. Kinlaw, who went to the scene, said he now wonders whether Lennon really killed himself.
"How did it happen? How did he wind up there?" he said. "These are all questions that are out there."
But the medical examiner, Dr. Deborah Radisch, said in a discussion with a pathologist hired by the NAACP that she based her ruling partially on Kinlaw's conclusion that Lacy killed himself.
And Claudia Lacy inadvertently contributed to the conclusion of suicide. When asked if Lennon had been depressed, she said yes, that his great-uncle had been buried the day before. She said she meant that Lennon was sad, grieving over the loss of a family member, not suicidal.
"Here's a mother who knows at the end of the day she's going to have to accept that either it was a suicide or it was a lynching," Barber said. "And because of the history of the South and the history of this country, in some strange way, she would almost rather it be a suicide."

A NITE IN WHITE-DANCE FOR LIFE

PLEA JOIN US FOR THIS SPECIAL EVENT AT THE SHIMMY SHACK AT GREYMYST ESTATES

HUMAN

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r5yaoMjaAmE

I love this video and the message is so clear. We are all Human no matter who we are.We all bleed the same color of blood.We all have a heart and have feelings.

October is National Bullying Awareness Month.We all should speak out against Bullying and taunting that leads to someone to end their life.Suicide is not an answer yet so many young people are ending their lives.There are other options. If you are being bullied or you know someone that is being bullied please seek help.There are organizations out there that can help you.

WE ARE ONLY HUMAN

The Kayla Marie Wright Story

One of my friends at a club I worked at passed me this story,it is sad to read yet her message is carried on .

Kayla Marie Wright (Jan. 12 1995 - Feb 15 2011), a 16 year old girl who drove to Colorado, into a ditch, crashing into a tree to end her life as a result of Bullying. Everyday in school, Kayla was constantly harassed and badgered by her peers. She was called names, pushed, shoved, and shunned. This physical torment led to her being harassed on her Face book page and being sent rude text messages. She one day decided she had enough. She stole her moms car, and drove to her "grave". Her suicide left her entire family completely devastated. Her sister looked at this unexpected tragedy as motivation to spread the word about "Bullycide" and how it needs to end. She created a YouTube page where she posts videos about Bullying and how it affects people around the world. She sends a message to all teens of proper ways to deal with Bullying and how one doesn't need to criticize another to feel good about themselves using her sister's story as a leverage

WHAT IS A HATE CRIME

A hate crime is usually defined by state law as one that involves threats, harassment, or physical harm and is motivated by prejudice against someone's race, color, religion, national origin, ethnicity, sexual orientation or physical or mental disability. Laws vary by state and if hate crimes are provided for by statute, the defintions of hate crimes and penalties imposed vary. States that have hate crime statutes provide harsher penalites for such offenses.
The underlying criminal offenses that are designated in hate crime laws include, but are not limited to, crimes against persons like harassment, terroristic threats, assault and crimes against property like criminal trespass, criminal mischief and arson. It may also include vandalism causing damage to a church, synagogue, cemetery, mortuary, memorial to the dead, school, educational facility, community center, municipal building, courthouse, juvenile detention center, grounds surrounding such places or personal property located within such places.
The current federal law regarding hate crimes deals with crimes where the offender is motivated by bias against a race, religion, disability, sexual orientation, gender, sexual orientation, gender identity, or ethnicity/national origin.
The following is an example of a state statute governing hate crimes:

1. The Legislature finds and declares the following:

1. It is the right of every person, regardless of race, color, religion, national origin, ethnicity, or physical or mental disability, to be secure and protected from threats of reasonable fear, intimidation, harassment, and physical harm caused by activities of groups and individuals.
2. It is not the intent, by enactment of this section, to interfere with the exercise of rights protected by the Constitution of the State of Alabama or the United States.
3. The intentional advocacy of unlawful acts by groups or individuals against other persons or groups and bodily injury or death to persons is not constitutionally protected when violence or civil disorder is imminent, and poses a threat to public order and safety, and such conduct should be subjected to criminal sanctions.

b. The purpose of this section is to impose additional penalties where it is shown that a perpetrator committing the underlying offense was motivated by the victim's actual or perceived race, color, religion, national origin, ethnicity, or physical or mental disability.
c. A person who has been found guilty of a crime, the commission of which was shown beyond a reasonable doubt to have been motivated by the victim's actual or perceived race, color, religion, national origin, ethnicity, or physical or mental disability, shall be punished as follows:

1. Felonies:

1. On conviction of a Class A felony that was found to have been motivated by the victim's actual or perceived race, color, religion, national origin, ethnicity, or physical or mental disability, the sentence shall not be less than 15 years.
2. On conviction of a Class B felony that was found to have been motivated by the victim's actual or perceived race, color, religion, national origin, ethnicity, or physical or mental disability, the sentence shall not be less than 10 years.
3. On conviction of a Class C felony that was found to have been motivated by the victim's actual or perceived race, color, religion, national origin, ethnicity, or physical or mental disability, the sentence shall not be less than two years.
4. For purposes of this subdivision, a criminal defendant who has been previously convicted of any felony and receives an enhanced sentence pursuant to this section is also subject to enhanced punishment under the Alabama Habitual Felony Offender Act, Section 13A-5-9.

2. Misdemeanors:
On conviction of a misdemeanor which was found beyond a reasonable doubt to have been motivated by the victim's actual or perceived race, color, religion, national origin, ethnicity, or physical or mental disability, the defendant shall be sentenced for a Class A misdemeanor, except that the defendant shall be sentenced to a minimum of three months

Family suspects cyberbullying led teen to commit suicide

Before she died, 14-year-old Kacie Palm told her mother about the nasty online exchanges coming from some teenagers — cyberbullies aiming to hurt teenage girls on social media sites, the Enterprise reported.
“She said, ‘Mom, they make up a fake account and they write all kinds of stuff — how fat they are and how ugly they are,’” her mother, Kerry Palm, recalled Tuesday. “That’s when I said, ‘Just get off of it. Shut it off, stay off of it.’ I said, ‘People don’t care. That’s the problem. They don’t care.’”
Three days later, on Thursday, Kacie, a beautiful, vivacious, 14-year-old about to enter her freshman year at Bristol-Plymouth Regional Technical School in September, took her own life.
Her parents are searching for answers -- not only as to why their young daughter died so unexpectedly, but also why Kacie’s friends -- many of whom have posted comments on Twitter using the hashtag #justiceforkacie -- won’t talk to them about the circumstances that led to their daughter’s death.
“The couple of friends that she hung with, not one of them has come to me,” Kerry Palm, 44, said in the kitchen of her East Taunton home Tuesday afternoon. “I absolutely believe they know something.”
Taunton police are investigating. Several Facebook posts on Tuesday indicated that Kacie may have been a victim of cyberbullying.
Police have spoken with school officials as part of the investigation, Taunton Police Chief Edward Walsh said Tuesday.
“We’re looking into it, but no one has actually come forward directly to us,” Walsh said. “There have been some conversations with the school department, (to see) if they’ve got any information.”
Anyone with information is urged to contact Taunton police at 508-824-7522.
On Tuesday, some account holders tweeting with #justiceforkacie wouldn’t talk when contacted by a reporter on Twitter.
“We can’t talk about it,” wrote one. “Ummm no, I can’t speak about what happened sorry bye,” wrote another. “I can’t let information out,” wrote yet another.
But online, there’s a flurry of comments and speculation — by teenagers and adults — about what may have led Kacie to end her life, her parents said.
“What they’re saying (is) that there was a page about her that someone bashed her,” Kerry Palm said, while crying.
Another theory?
“They said she took a nude picture and texted it to this kid,” her mother said. “She wrote a (suicide) note and it basically said it was to do with him.”
Kacie died on Thursday, amid news reports across the country of online “Purges” on Facebook and Twitter — where forms of online abuse are encouraged and have led to nude photos of women, including underage women, being posted on social media.
The Palms said they haven’t seen anything online to support claims of cyberbullying. They didn’t know the passwords to Kacie’s social media accounts. She would log in and log out, said her parents, who were shut out from the online world their daughter lived in.
“There’s so many questions and so much hearsay,” her father, Steve Palm, 45, said. “We don’t know what’s true and what’s not true.”
On her Twitter page, Kacie had retweeted several dark tweets from @AGirlsLifeTwitt, which has 133,000 followers, in the days before her suicide.
“I want to sleep forever,” one retweet said. “I’m tired of pretending to be okay,” another retweet said. On July 10, a week before her death, Kacie retweeted “I will never be good enough for anyone.”
Kacie — with long, brown hair and big, blue eyes — told her parents she loved them daily, they said. She had some moody days, but nothing that her parents saw to be out of the ordinary for their teenage daughter.
“The thing is, she told us everything,” Kerry Palm said.
The Palms said they saw no warning signs in their daughter — and they’re speaking publicly about her suicide with the hope that it will help save another life.
They’re also speaking out to warn other parents about the dangers of social media.
“I just think all these sites, Facebook, I think it should all be gone, because it’s cruel,” Kerry Palm said, crying. “Just shut them all down. You don’t need it.”
On Thursday night, after spending a few hours with friends near her neighborhood, Kacie came home with her mother about 7 p.m. and went to take a shower, her mother said.
Less than an hour later, her father went to check in on her. Kacie had hanged herself in her bedroom, he said. She left her family a short note and told them she loved them. “This is goodbye. Sorry you have to find me this way,” the note said. “I love you all.”
The note also instructed her family to go on Facebook to message a specific teenage boy.
Steve Palm burst out crying while holding the note in their kitchen.
“This is so impersonal. This is what really pisses me off,” he said. “It’s not her. That’s her writing. But that’s not her.”
By 6:30 p.m. Tuesday, four separate Facebook pages titled “R.I.P. Kacie Palm” had a total of 4,600 ‘Likes.’
“It’s disgusting, disgusting,” Kerry Palm said of social media, tears streaming down her face. “I feel helpless. As a parent, I feel I didn’t protect her enough from this stuff.”

Why do some kids become bullies?

I found this article to be useful and informative.

Jared

Everyone remembers at least one classmate who was well-known for aggressively taunting and teasing the kids with braces or glasses, or even pushing around the kids who were smarter or smaller than others, just to get some laughs.
You might even recall teachers and parents dismissing the behavior as "kids being kids" or telling those tormented to just ignore the bully. But ignoring a bully, whose behavior may be rooted in immense frustration or even abuse, usually isn't the answer.
Child and adolescent mental health specialists at the University of Michigan Health System say both parents and childcare providers need to be aware of what creates a bully's behavior and the toll it can take on the bully's victim to know when intervention is necessary.
"When you really take a close look at bullying, it's happening with kids who feel the need to be aggressive after being treated in an aggressive manner themselves," says Paul Quinlan, D.O., director of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry Inpatient Services at the U-M Health System. "They're the kids who may be suffering from abuse or from just not having their needs met at school or at home."
Quinlan says between 2 percent to 16 percent of the population under the age of 18 bully others. According to KidsHealth, the most obvious signs of bullying are hostility and aggression - either physically, verbally, emotionally or sexually - that is directed toward another child who is physically and emotionally weaker. And the National PTA says one of out every ten children is the regular victim of a bully.
So what makes a child become a bully? Often children who are dealing with difficult situations at home, such as divorce, or in school will bully others as a way to feel more important or in control of things happening in their lives. Typically, a schoolyard bully is a child who has low self-esteem and is looking to achieve popularity.

"I don't think they really mean what they're doing," says Karthik, an elementary school student, about why some kids become bullies. "I think they just want to try and bully someone so they feel cool. But really, they're not cool - they're just doing something very bad to someone else."
And if the bullying persists and becomes a chronic behavior, Quinlan warns that the child is at a higher risk to continue to engage in anti-social behavior, such as stealing or attempting to physically hurt others, as an adult.
"Bullying is something that needs to be dealt with in a very thorough manner," he says. "School systems and other programs that deal with children need to work to recognize and identify this problem behavior and offer assistance to the families."
When the problem has been identified, Quinlan suggests parents take a close look at where the behavior is occurring - whether it's only happening in school or in unique settings. If the parents notice the behavior is persistent during play activities, in school and at home, they should consider getting a mental health referral from their pediatrician to get the situation under control.
"The good news is there's good results with intervention," says Quinlan. "The situation will be controlled and parents can really begin to help their child."
Yet with bullying, the tormentor isn't the only one who may need a little extra help from their parents. At some point in every person's life, he or she will be the victim of a bully, maybe because they are different from the rest of the kids or they're more vulnerable and easier to pick on, says Quinlan.
Kelly, an elementary school student, knows all-too-well what it's like to be bullied. "I have been bullied by someone in my neighborhood and he's taken my lunch money and hit me a lot of times - he just hates me and he won't leave my stuff alone."
Because of such situations, parents always need to be on the look-out for signs of bullying, especially since children often feel embarrassed about the situation and may be reluctant to tell their parents about the bully. Some signs that a child may be the victim of a bully include:

• Making excuses for not wanting to go to school
  
• Difficulty sleeping or eating
  
• Increased anxiety about school or certain situations at school like riding the bus, using the restroom or going to recess
  
• Missing personal items or the need for extra school supplies or money
  
• Excessive trips to the school nurse, especially during unstructured time like lunch or recess
  
• Unexplained bruises or torn clothing

To help a child deal with a bully, Quinlan says that parents need to encourage their child to speak directly to the bully, but never to be physically defensive because bullies are often bigger and stronger than their victim. And Kelsey, an elementary school student, agrees.
"If you feel like you're being bullied, you should tell an adult, but if there's no adults around, you should stand up for yourself," he says. "But two wrongs don't make a right, so don't push them or hit them back."

Parents also need to provide extra support to boost their child's self-confidence, help them build social skills to avoid conflict and make friends, and encourage them to seek the help of an adult or friends when a bully's around.
Facts about kids & bullies:

• Schoolyard bullies typically have low self-esteem and are dealing with difficult situations at home, such as divorce, or are having trouble in school.
  
• Bullies direct their hostility and aggression at other children who are physically and emotionally weaker to feel more powerful.
  
• When the school system or another childcare program has identified a conduct disorder, parents then need to take a closer look at where the bullying behavior is occurring.
  
• Signs that a child may be the victim of a bully include increased anxiety, difficulty sleeping, bruises or missing personal items.

For more information, visit the following Web sites:
U-M Your Child Health Topics: Developmental & Behavior Resources: A Guide for Parents
www.med.umich.edu/1libr/yourchild/behave.htm
U-M News Release: School bells signal worries for some kids
www.med.umich.edu/opm/newspage/anxiety.htm
National PTA: Helping Children Deal with a School Bully
www.pta.org
TeensHealth: Dealing with Bullying
www.kidshealth.org
KidsHealth: Bullying and Your Child
www.kidshealth.org

Social media raises fear of teen suicide contagion

I found this article very interesting and makes some valid point............Jared

Zionsville Community Schools Superintendent Scott Robison warned parents Monday that several students had reposted a certain video on their social media accounts.
In the 8-minute video posted on Google+, an eighth-grade student from Zionsville West Middle School discussed his thoughts on suicide.
The night of April 25, the boy hanged himself.
The day after he died, a 15-year-old girl, another Zionsville student, attempted suicide by overdose, according to a Zionsville Police Department report.
Police said they did not know if the youngsters knew each other or if the second teen had seen the video, but school officials notified parents Monday of the video.
"The school-parent partnership calls me to bring this to your attention in the event that you wish to have a conversation about it with your child," Robison wrote in an email to parents. The email included a link to suicide prevention information on the school website.
Police and school officials have released little information about either incident. Calls to school officials were not returned.
The episode highlights the complex role social media can play, and the fears it raises, as psychologists, parents and school officials grapple with depression among increasingly web savvy youths. Messages posted on social media have been known to thwart some suicides as adults and others intervene, but some experts say such public messages also may prompt other youths to consider taking their own lives.
"The thing we always worry a little bit about is a certain sense of contagion," said Dr. David Dunn, a professor of child neurology and psychiatry at the Indiana University School of Medicine. "There may be an increase in the number of suicide attempts after one has been publicized in a particular school system."
Dr. Adelaide Robb, director of psychiatry research at the Children's National Medical Center, said seeing someone talk about suicide on social media networks — and go through with it — can give permission for others to do the same.
And with an absence of restraints on the Web, it is up to parents to be vigilant.
Quick action needed
Psychologists, such as University of Indianapolis professor Katherine Kivisto, said suicide threats posted on social media rarely are false alarms.
Adult intervention needs to be immediate, especially during the critical time right after the post was made.
"The most important thing to do would be to reach out to an adult and for that adult to then go and speak with the child who is making the suicidal threat," said Indianapolis psychologist Robbi Crain. "The key thing in responding to those suicidal threats or talks is not to overreact, but also not to under-react."
Kivisto said talking to a suicidal student will make them less likely to attempt suicide.
Social media networks also take steps to address suicide threats posted on their sites.
Facebook spokesman Matt Steinfeld said that when someone reports a suicide threat, the reporting person is sent information on where to turn for help. Similar information also is sent to the person who posted the message.
Facebook users, Steinfeld added, make up a huge, online "neighborhood watch" that can be a first line of defense.
In New Jersey, a teenager posted a photo of the George Washington Bridge in November along with a statement saying he was thinking of jumping. A concerned friend contacted police and port officers, who spoke with the teen, according to a CNN story.
About a year ago, a California teen helped prevent a suicide by a New Jersey girl, who posted a threat on her blog. According to a USA TODAY story, the California girl, who knew only the other girl's first name, called police and a local suicide hotline, launching a chain of events that led to the rescue.
A cry for help
According to January data from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, suicide is the third-leading cause of death for those between the ages of 10 and 24 and results in about 4,600 deaths annually.
While suicide rates among teens have been lower than they were in the 1990s, statistics show a gradual increase over the past decade.
From 1990 to 2000, suicide rates had dropped from 12.5 suicide deaths per 100,000 people to 10.4, according to the CDC. They gradually rose over the 10 years that followed, until rates reached 12.1 deaths per 100,000 in 2010.
One explanation is that teens are at an age when parts of the brain that control impulsive behavior are not fully developed yet. They're more likely to act on a spur of the moment without realizing the consequences, said Dunn, the IU professor.
They're also learning what it's like to be in somebody else's shoes, said Mimi Brittingham, a therapist at Meridian Youth Psychiatric Center on the Far Northside.
"Sometimes, they over-identify with the angst of a friend, with the problems of a friend," she said.
Experts say teens post suicidal thoughts on social media to let people know they're in pain. Such statements are a plea for someone to listen.
Suicide warning signs include drug and alcohol use, change in eating and sleeping habits, verbal or physical aggressiveness, and physical pain, says the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry.
These don't necessarily mean a suicide is impending, Crain said.
"But something is going on that needs to be talked about," she said. "Talk about the feelings, talking about anything, really. Just get them talking."

Anti-bullying tips

Anti-bullying tips

• When a child discloses bullying details, parents should remain calm as they gather facts about who, what and when the bullying took place. “It’s not helpful to school administrators if somebody says ‘so and so is bullying’ but can’t provide specifics,” University of Virginia education professor Dewey Cornell said.
• Gather evidence if possible, especially if bullying took place over the Internet, a website or cellphone. Try to get names of witnesses, too.
• Schools should have bullying prevention programs in place and be working to change the cultural norms such that reporting bullying isn’t akin to snitching — it’s seeking help for someone who’s being harmed.
• Parents should be persistent in raising their concerns about bullying. If the teacher doesn’t help, go to the administrator and on up the chain of command to the central office if necessary.
• Parents should try to be collaborative, not antagonistic, with the schools.
• Bullying, as defined by the federal government: Behavior must be aggressive and include an imbalance of power — such as physical strength, access to embarrassing information, or popularity — to control or harm others. Bullying behaviors “happen more than once or have the potential to happen more than once.”
• For more information: stopbullying.gov

Bullied Ohio girl, 15, leaves behind suicide note reading ‘thanks for all the pain’

A 15-year-old girl struggling with bullies, boyfriends and her parents' broken marriage killed herself after leaving behind a suicide note, reading "thanks for all the pain."
Cora Delille was found dead in her Pickerington, Ohio home's bedroom last week, along with the painful, handwritten page which police say addressed some of her accused tormenters by name.
"She named like maybe four, maybe five kids. Just first names only," Pickerington Police Commander Matt Delp told the Daily News Tuesday.
Of those names, two were allegedly names of ex-boyfriends — one of which broke up with her the night before she died.
But there were allegedly other struggles far beyond fellow classmates.
"She had a lot of issues going on in her life," said Delp. "Her boyfriend broke up with her, she didn't know if her mother loved her. There were a lot of other things going on in her life other than bullying."
A police investigation into her bullying claim has turned up few leads, though a few students did say that they witnessed it firsthand, according to Delp.
In her schools' files he said there were no reports of it. An online search of her social media accounts also didn't turn up anything crucial, he said.

Shockingly instead, it's the days after her suicide that police say people have posted vile comments about her online.
"I think there are stupid people out there who like to get a rise out of people," reasoned Delp of the appalling activity.
Asked whether the commenters may be people she knew, Delp answered: "Those people could be from Iowa. It's the Internet."
Delp said that he doesn't expect any charges to be pressed against anyone named in her letter.
Even the allegations of bullying that authorities believe they've confirmed weren't more than name calling, which isn't a misdemeanor.
"It's obviously an issue which we in society need to address," summarized Delp. "I think it's human nature to do it, maybe we're messed up as a species."
A request for comment from the Pickerington School District was not returned.

 

THE AFTER EFFECTS OF TEEN SUICIDE

Imagine coming home from work, greeting the dog, and walking upstairs to find your son or daughter dead by their own hands.
The suicide of a child is a very sensitive and sometimes divisive subject for families.
But suicide is a growing concern.
Adults, it's fair to say, know what the consequences are.
A teenager might not. They are not as mature and are more impulsive. They may not realize the scope or full impact of their tragic actions.
Suicide leaves a wake of victims.
Not long ago, 14-year-old Sydney Sanders killed herself. Her mother found her.
For Sydney's mom and sister, the range of emotions is raw. They can't bear even to go back to their home. They shared their story so other families can avoid the pain they are experiencing.
"It hurts and it's hard," said Sydney's mother, Laura Lane. "But I was blessed to have her in my life for 14 years. And she would say to me, 'Mama, suck it up.'"
"Sucking it up" isn't so easy for a grieving mom.
Lane said that her daughter called her that day and talked to her on the phone.
"'I love you, Mama. I promise you I am going to be all right. I am going to read my Bible. I love you and I will see you when you get home,'" Lane recalls Sydney saying.
Those were Sydney's last words to her mother.
Lane discovered Sydney dead in her bedroom. It was a scene which forced her to abandon her home, the culmination of a family crisis that started three months ago.
"There were no signs," Lane says. "None. Never. Not even for the first attempt. None."
The first attempt was the red flag for Lane. It was Valentine's Day morning. Sydney's 17-year-old sister Caleigh walked in on her younger sister.
"I tried to open her door and it was locked," Caleigh recalls. "She never locks her doors and it scared me. I went through the bathroom. She had Band-Aids all over her. She took her Bands-Aids off and showed me the holes. She had all cuts all over her neck. Marks all over, and I was scared."
Caleigh says she yelled at her sister. "[I] told her she was crazy," Caleigh recalls. "She just sat there, just as calm as she could be and said she didn't know what happened."
Sydney's family took her to the hospital, where the truth was revealed. She came home 10 days later.
"She had gotten into some medication," Lane says. "She tried to cut her throat many times and had stabbed herself in areas of her body."
"They told me she did it to herself. I broke down. I was devastated," Caleigh says. "Something was wrong. You don't just wake up out of the blue and do that. Something was going on."
"She never spoke about it again. Didn't discuss it again. She told her close friends about it and never talked about it again," Lane says.
"She told me some things she didn't want Mom to know and she looked me straight in the face and said, 'I love you and always will, but I didn't want to wake up the next morning. I was praying to God I would be gone before you all woke up,'" Caleigh says.
Lane took Sydney to counseling. She says that Sydney was angry and that she made her go back.
"After she talked to the counselor, she said 'Thank you. It's nice to have someone I can speak to. To just talk,'" Lane remembers. "I had doctors tell me she would never do it again. I had therapists tell me she would never do it again."
Caleigh, however, wasn't so sure and left home.
"I just had to get out of there," she explains. "I didn't want to wake up and have my sister be gone and me see it. I don't know what would have happened to me if I saw that. I was scared she would hurt me or my mom or she would do it again. I told her that over and over again and no one listened to me."
On April 5, Lane found Sydney. She had hanged herself from the attic in her bedroom.
Lane was devastated. "Even if I got there immediately, I have been told I would not be able to save my daughter's life," she says.
"I was more angry at the time when I found out than I was hurt, because running through my mind I knew my mom was going to be the first person to find her," Caleigh says. "I just didn't know how she could do this to my mom at all."
The pain and confusion lead to the question everyone is still asking. Why? 14 years old. Beautiful. Athletic. Popular.
"She had everything going for her. From my eyes she did," Caleigh says.
The answer, however, is not black and white.
"She did not have any symptoms of anything. She was not clinically depressed. No medications. No drugs. She was a typical teenager," Lane says. "In the beginning, she was isolated a little bit and things had been going on and circumstances. She told me everything and got through it."
"There's only two people who know and that's God and her," she continues.
"She obviously didn't want anyone to know and kept it to herself," Caleigh adds. "It hurts losing someone you love. I don't want anyone to go through that at all."
Lane says finding the reason why is not going to fix what happened to her daughter, or explain her daughter's actions.
"If we can use her life as an example to fix the ones who are still here, in my daughter's death I hope and pray there will be many changes and there will be lives saved and something wonderful will come out of something so tragic," Lane says.
She is working on a non-profit foundation called  Forever 4 Change to promote suicide awareness and counseling.
The bottom line: Know your children, get them to talk and get help. It does get better.
If you think about suicide, or suspect someone you know or love is depressed and contemplating suicide, there is help. Immediately consult a physician. There are also suicide help lines, with 24 hour service. Those numbers are 1-800.999.9999,  1.800.273.8255 and 1.800.273.HELP.
For more information, go to www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org.

Family: Teen who killed himself after embarrassing video left suicide note

A San Diego family who says their14 year old son killed himself after an embarrassing video went viral said the boy left a suicide letter saying he didn't want to kill himself but that he had "no friends."
In a $1 million claim against the San Diego Unified School District, the parents of Matthew Burdette contend that he was "bullied, harassed and teased" after a video of him in a school bathroom was taken by a classmate and posted online.
In the claim filed in May against the district, Timothy and Barbara Burdette contend that at least one school or district employee knew about the bullying but that nothing was done to stop it, KGTV-TV reported.
Matthew killed himself last November.
The family said the boy left a letter.
"He said, 'I can't do school anymore. I have no friends. I don't want to kill myself, but I have no friends,'" said his aunt, Laura Mechak.
According to the claim, a classmate surreptitiously filmed Matthew in the school bathroom, and then posted it online saying that he was masturbating. The video was viewed by students at several San Diego area high schools.
"Kids saw this video and began to tease Matthew mercilessly," Mechak told the station. "They made his life miserable over a two-week period."
The boy, formerly outgoing, became dejected, and killed himself on a Thanksgiving holiday at his family's cabin, according to the family's claim.
The school district denied knowing about the video and refused to disclose if the student who allegedly filmed the video faced disciplinary action, according to an email sent to KGTV-TV.
Privacy laws prevent the district from discussing the circumstances of the boy's death, according to the statement.
After Matthew's death, his high school held meetings about teen suicide, but the meetings were "general" and not tied to a specific incident, the email said.